It is that reality of acknowledging my own limitations that protects me from crashing to the ground and drowning in the absolute depths of despair. That reality of the goalpost constantly being shifted a little further out of reach, my financial independence and sustainability, elusive.

Then the thoughts of alternative ways to increase our family’s sustainability without sacrificing the necessity that requires me to maintain the flexibility and predictability that allows for a semblance of sanity to prevail. . . 

I thus look upon my blog, a slight possibility, but understanding the dynamics at play and recognising that my blog is an online representation of who I am. A space where my values and moral code reflects in my writing, the unmasking of my journey to optimism. My online home, a space that I am not prepared to-let to the highest bidder or the cheapest quick fix.

The thought itself makes me feel as if I am slowly eroding my moral code, slowly stripping away the compass that guides me through this life of intentional living. Inviting anyone into my online space for commercial gain, would need to be a partnership that mirrors integrity and values that complements my own.

Why am I sharing this with you?

I share this because these last few months have been harsh! Up until now, I’ve been able to maintain the basics – but I am slowly edging towards depletion . . .  That heavy weight of being placed in a position where I suddenly have to take on a responsibility that was once shared, and to a certain extent, never mine to begin with.

It is in the midst of desperate reflection of this sudden responsibility and how this responsibility is impacting on the life that I aspire to live and share with my child, the very core of parenting and living with intent. An aspiration that requires me to minimise stressors that can have a profound negative impact on how I approach this intentional life that I lead.

Doing this is exceptionally hard. It does not come easy. Add to this the reality of living in a world where we are surrounded by the negative energy, the constant fear and anxiety that people walk around with, and having to consciously not absorb these energies. It is damn hard!

If I am to maintain my equilibrium of living and parenting with intent, then I am going to have to reach out and ask for help, because sustaining our family on my own is exceptionally hard, and I know myself well enough to recognise that I cannot take on more responsibility than what I have right now.

This is living with intent, keeping it real and maintaining my journey to optimism.

The hill may be steep, but the view is my silver-lining.

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