I often read the threads, the quirky twitter remarks, the “I can relate” comments, and all I do is silently shake my head while I smile, knowingly . . .
Single parenting is far more than just a parent parenting on their own. It is nothing like parenting alone while your hubby/wife works away for two weeks or three months of the year. Nothing could be further from this truth!
I am a single parent. I am it! Even with family support and great friends. I. Am. Still. It!
There is no one to share my most intimate of thoughts with. Friends and family won’t understand, because they don’t LIVE parenting my child 24/7. Their worry and concerns do not run as deep as mine.
Single parenting can become very distressing AND unforgiving when you experience tremendous emotional turmoil as a result of concerns for your child’s health, their development and the impending financial responsibility.
There is no “other” parent to hold your hand and understand your heart as you listen to a diagnoses; be it a fever, a disability, or God-forbid – terminal! There is NO “other” parent to feel your tears and embrace your fears with understanding and empathy. Living it and seeing it, are two very different experiences.
Then, the questions . . .
The overwhelming emotions that come with raising a child independently, and preparing, if one could ever truly prepare, for the MANY, and often INTRUSIVE, questions that children have about why you are their only parent…
My son’s paternal family do not feature in our lives, at all. There is no contact, no “extended” family to lean on.
Single is; One Parent Only! It is not co-parenting, long distance parenting, or whatever you want to term it when both parents are in the child’s life. It is ONE parent, shouldering ALL the responsibilities of raising a child.
I, however, made a commitment many years ago, before my son was born, to embrace single parenting. An opportunity to show true bravery in the face of adversity. To stand tall in a crowded room of families and be the only single parent, beaming with pride as I watch my son perform in his school play, confident in the absence of his dance partner! To surround myself with awesome people, who understand that I will go to the ends of the earth for my child…no barriers!
Butterflies flutter around inside me, at the mere knowledge that I am capable beyond measure; able to mould a little person into a courageous being with an identity independent of parenting circumstances.
I want YOU to know that I am an Extremely Proud Single Parent; and that no matter my obstacles, and fears, I AM ENOUGH. I want you to know that BEING IT, is as awesome, if not more so, than being them or they.
I want YOU to stop looking at me with the all too knowing question, “where is his father”, that look of sadness and unwanted sympathy… I want you to look at me and acknowledge that I am enough…
You are the best!!
You are enough and more! U r incredible!!!
Thank you for being there from day one, okay maybe month three 😀
You are one remarkable woman, you know that right? Remind me of my gran more and more. In fact both grans even though the paternal gran wasn’t always a single parent. If there was one thing I’ve learnt from them is that a single parent is enough. I may not have personal experience but they were mighty fine examples. My paternal gran raised something like 9 kids on her own! And they all turned out great people. My maternal gran has this saying and very often encourages single moms with it: “You are not the first single mom and you won’t be the last so don’t dwell on your circumstances and raise that kid/s. It’s not just about you.” Seems harsh when typed but when she says it, it’s really not that bad.
Celeste your gran is so right! My maternal gran was also a single parent and raised 6 children, and they were very poor!
That is so true!
One loving and kind person is all a child needs to have as a parent!
So much better than having a bad parent or a parent who does not care!
You are so right Sandie, yet there are so many children who don’t even have one – often see calls for foster parents 🙁
Yes you are enough! And this article is so true- we don’t get it even if we solo parent once in a while. Well done on doing such a good job Chev.
Thanks Melissa.