So last night I got a tip “use a plastic bag”… so off I go this morning, arriving at the office at 7:45 rushing to finalise some admin and follow ups…
Like a pro I walk into the wetsuit room at Lifestyle Surf, grab my size L-L and ever so sleek unpack my bag – armed with my plastic Checkers bag…I sit down, put my right foot into the plastic bag, and BAM! The wetsuit slides over my foot and leg, EasyPeezyLemonSqueezy! I do the same for my left leg and with very little effort this time around am equipped up to my waist.
Using the same trick on my hands, wearing my Checkers plastic bag like gloves, I SLIP my arms through the sleeves of the wetsuit! No fuss, no strenuous activity, smooth like butter!
But then I get to my shoulders and my elephant trunk arms seems way bigger that the capacity of the wetsuit!
With confidence, I step out of my cubicle and ask a lady to help me out, it took all but 1 minute to get me zipped up and squeezed in, feeling like a superhot bigger size model for BIG GIRL Surf Magazine (if ever there was one LOL!!!).
I sms Elspeth , to hear where she’s at – apparently delays on Boyes Drive…Anyhow, I grab a size M-L for her and when she arrives, looking all hippie earth-child like with her gorgeous sun-blonde dreadlocks, I help her into her wetsuit, sharing my now, very torn Checkers plastic bag, to help her get her hands through the sleeves. I promise you, she was absolutely knackered by the time we got the wetsuit on her, not from the struggle, but from the roaring laughter that ensued as we struggled to get the Checkers plastic bag OUT of the wetsuit! RIPPED to PIECES! There goes my bag for my wet costume and towel!
Me being the “pro” that I am, managed to get my 9 foot board down to the beach, while Elspeth needed some reinforcements – thank goodness for Emma who kindly carried the tail part of the board.
So Elspeth gets shown the ropes, how to lay on the board, how to JUMP up, how to stretch and how to do the funky chicken wing – remember, the chicken wing! All this while I casually try and bend in my very tight wetsuit, pretending to do some very complicated stretches, because hell everyone is so flexible, one would think we a group of ladies participating in an early morning yoga session!
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we get into the water. ABSOLUTE BLISS! I honestly don’t get what people are talking about when they say the water is so cold? Really, I love it, especially when you feel the water creeping down your wetsuit as you lay on your board trying to catch a wave!
Today, was really special, Elspeth Mendes joined me in this new found heaven on earth of mine, apparently also a newbie, this friend of mine…BUT then she just goes off, takes her board, balances, and paddles right on out, while I’m still standing waist deep in the water practicing on baby whitewash waves!
The next thing I know, there goes Elspeth, off on a wave, balancing, paddling and OMG – she almost caught a wave standing up!! This newbie friend of mine…here I am, my 3rd attempt, looking at Elspeth, diving into waves with her 9 foot board, almost catching waves and oh, way out there (her feet probably no longer touching the sand!)…
I on the other hand, still trying to balance on my board whilst laying flat on my stomach, frolicking in the ocean on my 9 foot board, finally managing to paddle, if two strokes count before falling off the board!
And while we try to hang onto our boards with both hands, what do you think Elspeth Mendes do? She bloody well floats in the water, holding on to her board with her FOOT, her freaking FOOT, while waiting for a set to come through! Really now, how can this mom of 3 be a newbie like me?
Elspeth, I am super proud of you, guess what we’ll be doing once we get our own boards…we will be running down to Fish Hoek beach where you can teach me to be a “newbie” like you, floating in the ocean while holding onto my 9 foot board WITHOUT drowning!
BUT GUESS WHAT GUYS AND GALS! Today, FINALLY, I managed to get on my knees THREE times! Almost standing up, but somehow managing to flip the board on its side and landing in the ocean. Goal achieved for the day, ABSOLUTELY STOKED! Wish I did not have to miss next Tuesday, but alas, I have to work and if there is a meeting, there is a meeting.