Earlier today I got a bit of a blast from the past – a very unpleasant one at that! One that had me chatting to my JoziDiva via BBM for some time, dredging up the past. Some of the words to describe a certain individual I dare not mention on this blog…
Would not want my little brown eyes to peek at my words and decipher the intensity of the language I use to describe a certain peson whom has never featured in his life…I am writing this in ‘code’ so hope you know who I am referring to. Maybe the term single parent will be enough of a hint…
The monetary strain is draining to say the least! Add to this the ineffective maintenance system where you are told “well, you should be happy with what you getting since others are getting far less” – for f’s sake – support, that doesn’t even stretch to the four figure mark! Then the risk of a “reduction” since people have become adept in using the justice system and their rights to their own benefit and to hell with the situation at hand and no recourse offered!
“It’s all so wrong. He should be paying half of everything” was the response from my very good friend.
“I am itching to write a hardcore blog, stripping this person to pieces, riveting block buster movie type writing! But I think of my little brown eyes and know that I would be doing him an injustice by publically humiliating you know who. I do not want little brown eyes to be tainted by the way I feel right now. As a little person, it is his right to draw his own conclusions when it comes to this person. Little brown eyes is intelligent and insightful and when he is older he will see it for what it is without needing to be exposed to the detail of it all” I replied.
You may read this and think what the hell is she writing about. But, if you get what this blog is about, then both thumbs up to you!
The only reason why I’m actually writing this is because a few minutes ago I followed one of these links on Facebook.
“Find out what kind of storm you are” – Flip, I can so relate to this one when thinking of this person I’m ‘not’ writing about. Going to a South African maintenance court is really like going on the “warpath” – I had the ugliest experience ever! This storm however made it very clear that she will not allow anyone to mess with the well being of her little brown eyes! He is not some pawn to be used in the game of power that social status and money seems to make some people believe they have? I refuse to let him be exposed to an environment where he is the silent whispers around the room, oh the shame of it all, the one who must remain hidden.. double F that high and mighty crap!
“Find out what your spirit is” – The last sentence, “you are also adept at looking beyond your current situation and planning ahead” resonated with me, since this is exactly what I had to do today.
I must admit, that I don’t believe in this sort of thing, these online apps that tel you who you are based on your name, etc.But I thought I’d share it, to put this post into context.
The chances of me writing about this part of my life again is extremely slim, it is a non feature, really, except for when these random things happen like today!
I’ve had my fair share of crap to deal with and have concluded that when the “you know what” hits the fan, the best thing to do is to pull yourself towards yourself, smell the crap, deal with it and move on.
Reflection is a beauty…she often becomes crystal clear when you least expect it. Life is filled with unexpected events… don’t delve on it for too long…