Preparing for my exam on transformative counselling encounters that emphasises unconditioal positive regard during the counselling process has me in deep thought this morning.

How often do we not trap ourselves in an endless cycle of stagnancy when we chain ourselves to situations and relationships that pull us deeper into a state of hopelessness and depression because of fear?

Even though we know that change is needed but the risk of the unknown and the fear that comes with this holds us back. An act of “protecting” ourselves that further feeds the continous downward spiral into this hopelessness and depressing state of dis-ease with ourselves.

We close ourselves up to the change, that transformation that is needed. We remain in situations, relationships and environments that rob us of the oxygen that gives life to our inner-self and nurtures our wellbeing. Instead we become the shadows of those situations and persons who enable our fears and help chain us to hopelessness, self-doubt and depression.

Remember that you owe yourself an opportunity to live your best life.

We weren’t placed on this earth to live a life for others’, but to live our lives in a way that gives meaning to who we are, a way that ads contentment with all that we do and all that we are. This way we add meaning to the world around us and add value to the lives of others’.

Know that it is always okay to reach out and ask for help when you feel at conflict with yourself, your environment and whatever situation you may find yourself in. Understand that self-love and self-care is the foundation on which you build yourself.

There is no shame in going for counselling, and there is most definitely no shame in removing yourself from a situation or relationship that no longer serves your wellbeing and enables you to grow and be the best version of yourself.

The role of the counsellor is to help facilitate your quest for self-actualisation, healthy interpersonal relationships, self-determination and well-being. Counselling, in essence, is an appointment that you have with yourself even though it is facilitated by a counsellor (this can be a lay-counsellor or a registered professional). The counsellor creates an emotionally safe space wherein you can explore and discover your truth, honesty and connection with the self in an accepting and non-judgemental space where there is unconditional positive regard. Creating a space where you can adjust, adapt, heal and grow.

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