No Mute Button for a Meltdown

It’s 7:45am and I am drained! Why? Because my morning started with a meltdown about the mute button!

Now to some this may sound quite hilarious, while others may think – I’m losing my marbles, something is not quite right. Welcome to our world on the spectrum – this is my reality. This is my child’s reality.

What happened? We woke up, all happy – but a bit too early, so he had to wait a few minutes before he could switch on his tablet. Then, when he switched it on, all his notifications went off and I reminded him that he will need to MUTE his sound so that it doesn’t go off during class.

That was it!

Our morning disrupted into a meltdown of epic proportions because using the MUTE button was his idea, and I did not have to remind him of this right now – I could have waited until later in the morning. AND, again, he needs no reminding of this, because it was his idea.

I get it, I totally get it. But flip, at 05:30 in the morning?

The lesson today?

Do not mess with the routine (unless of course there is an emergency). The mute button must be activated the night before. No verbal instructions BEFORE child’s had his free time to regulate for the school day – rather send a WhatsApp message.

How I manage to hold it all together some days is an absolute mystery to me, especially when I drown it all out and walk away while my child goes off at me. The evolution of my parenting can be measured in the number of times I sat quietly, listening to music, while going off at my child (in my head) while he let’s go of all his frustrations and anger – directed at me, his safe space . . .  and later, sometimes days later . . .  

“I’m sorry mom”

An apology in recognition of having said and done things during his meltdown as he tried to retain control of his world. We bear hug – and reflect on the moment, and his challenges as I relate and try help him figure out another way to let go. Just like I let go through my writing and learn to move away from whatever causes frustration or overload and focus on self-regulation.


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