Creating Is An Inside Job

The noise on the inside. Bloating my emotions; a ticking time-bomb, my heart banging against my chest, it threatens to explode! My breathing becomes rapid, can you see my chest rise and fall, can you see the increase in movement???

Ta-dup, ta-dup, ta-dup, ta-dup, ta-dup-ta-dup-ta-duptaduptaduptaduptadup . . . My heart, my chest, my ears. The noise, MY noise!

Taduptaduptaduptadup . . . I need to block it out, my survival depends on it. Taduptaduptadup – the veins in my neck threatens to create a work of art on your wall, taduptaduptadup, how long before it blows?

I need to find that place. I need to breathe. “I’ll have a glass of water and the bill please”. The trembling in my voice – the only indication that perhaps my composure, as I close another deal, is not a reflection of the inside? I swipe my card, shake your hand and slowly my heartbeat returns to its normal pace, ta-dup-ta-dup-ta-dup-ta-dup. I watch you leave, I sit back in my seat and exhale a sigh of relief.

My sales target achieved. I survive to sell another repossessed house. I block out the reality of profiting from another’s anguish and loss. Tonight I will create my peace; two double whiskeys and coke – that’s all I need.

#ThursdayTitleChallenge courtesy of Lyndel Daly – thank you for the challenge!