I’m Single, Confident and Stoked!

I’m single. Have not been in a meaningful relationship for almost ten years; and I’ve been basking in the fierce confidence and independence that comes with this much frowned upon relationship status as a mother.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m not some “kloosterkoek” who is eager to grow old while having cats rub themselves up around my ankles and freaky crap like that. No. I have a relationship spec, a list of requirements; requirements that I am not prepared to compromise on.

I’m in my 30’s and I’ve only had two meaningful relationships.

The one relationship was with a DJ. He opened my world to the trans scene – and oh the stories I can tell about these rebellious years. Watching people trip out of their minds, higher than kites, having the most intriguing and deep conversations – ONLY to have them not recognise you the next day or remember anything you spoke about.

The other was with a surfer – constantly chasing the stoke of the next best wave. I loved the sense of freedom, and exhilaration as everyone around me was constantly caught up in the stoke of the ocean. This scene in itself has its own subtle politics that comes with the territorial nature of the inner clicks, even though everyone seems to know everyone! Here, life revolved around the tides, wind direction and the crowd!

These experiences, allowed me to find the inner-me. I learnt to recognise the “fake” gems, and came to appreciate that I was always the outsider looking in, able to adapt and blend in without being influenced by the negatives; the drugs.

I’ve seen it all. Few things in this life surprises me. I’ve partied hard, and I’ve cried even harder. Nothing makes you realise just how exclusive certain circles are, until you no longer belong, and you walk away.

These relationships pulled me into a world that I would otherwise never had known existed. It exposed me to such diversity in people, attitudes, believes and strange relationships; that I now, without a doubt, know exactly what it is that I want and am not prepared to compromise on.

So, yes, I’m single and I love it! And yes, being single, can at times, be a lonely place to be. But flip-it, loneliness is not enough of a reason to compromise ME! I love who I am, I love that I am strong willed, and whilst I may not love the fact that I’ve put on 25 kg during this time, I still love who I am!

Being single is not the end of the world ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy it, find yourself, love yourself, and DO NOT compromise yourself for the sake of a relationship. What is in a status after all? Jack shit! Don’t compromise YOURSELF!