Son, I look at you and I realize that I’ve lost more time in trying to understand your quirks, when instead, I should have triumphed in the unexpected joys. This morning I experienced sudden enlightenment in the appreciation of the many advantages I am afforded as your mom, thanks to your special quirks and needs.
Like the touch of your fingers when you grabbed onto my hand and asked me to escort you into the school. Your anxiety of crossing the ring-road, meant an extra minute for me to walk beside you and guide you across the paved area.
From the other side, I stood, watching, as you turned around and winked at me. In that very brief moment, all that existed were you and I. Then you picked up your pace and hurried along the road to the traffic free side of the school building.
Only moments earlier a “friend” rushed up to us. Your interaction with him reminded me of the changes. You no longer ask to walk ahead of me with a classmate, instead you step nearer and shy away from the social interaction. Observing your limited engagement as you prefer to talk about your topic of interest, cars. Watching the other kids excitedly run into the playground – away from their parents, I feel blessed to have you leaning in closer as you chat away about your driving skills – imaginary to me, but very real to you.
Oh, and let’s not forget that meltdown two days ago, and the long tight squeeze that followed. Remember? It calmed you, and gave me an opportunity to hug you tight, and share some affection without your usual rejection. Close contact is not for you.
I now bask in these quirky delights, and embrace this unique kind of parenting. A parenting where my world has had to adapt for the better, thanks to you.