I love my son. He requires a special kind of parenting, because like every other child, he is unique and I have to adapt as he changes. But, let me keep it real for you; these changes and challenges do, at times, drive me, BAT, SHIT, CRAZY!
He pushes my buttons. Not because he is naughty, but because he is pedantic, articulate and I have to watch my semantics when disciplining him. He Is stubborn like hell, has exceptional reasoning skills and is darn too intelligent at times for my liking! I have to constantly be “alert”, look out for the cues, listen, respond, correct, be creative and engage him; ALL THE TIME.
There’s been days where I’ve put him in his bubble bath, FULLY clothed, because “mom, just wait, I need to park my cars and this driver’s blocking me!” Note, this is extremely realistic imaginary play! There are toy cars parked all over the place, it drives me nuts! When we leave for school in the morning I have to put on my “seat belt” I have to listen for his indicator, explain why his tyres are making a funny noise, etc. A great opportunity to develop vocabulary and reasoning skills, but darnit! We WALK to school!! WE WALK!
There’s been moments where I’ve shown a complete disregard for his homework books. The kind of disregard where I lose my patience and the books go flying across the room! This, after HE, had an epic meltdown, almost tearing his books to shreds, because I couldn’t explain the complex language of math!
I’ve had moments where my sanity threatened to leave me, moments where breathing and counting in 3s didn’t help and I had to lock myself in the bathroom and kick the crap out of the washing basket!
There are days when parenting my child feels like the day my finger got caught between the wall and the sliding door. EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL! On these days I switch off and to hell with homework and everything else that involves parenting! The frustration I have to deal with and the infinite patience that is required, escapes me on these day. Pressing my SHUT DOWN and SURVIVE buttons, my only option!
He can be like a stuck record. “Mom, what did he say. Mom what did he say, Mom what did he say. Mom, listen to me!” And I explode! “Kai! Really now, how am I suppose to know what he said if I’m reading a book and NOT watching the movie with you?!” Yes, on these days, I feel terrible, because it is, after all, MY JOB to listen to him!
Sometimes he calls me a mean mom who is also very kind. My graceful child! On these days, I love that he still sees the good in me. Unfortunately, parenting does NOT come with an unlimited amount of patience.
Yes, I can be a Monster-Mom. BUT, the fact that my child understands that I have my days where I just can’t deal, AT ALL, makes me feel a little bit better about losing my cool. On these days we tend to stay clear of each other, because we are both INTENSE EMOTIONAL BEINGS and EXTREMELY TERRITORIAL when it comes to needing our space.
Parenting is not always what it’s made out to be. Blissful and Romantic. HELL NO! NO! Parenting can be a shit storm for which no amount of magazine articles, books, webinars or movies can prepare you for. Parenting only gets real when YOU FULLY UNDERSTAND YOUR LIMITATIONS and lock yourself in a room before you LOSE ALL CONTROL!
Yes, on these overwhelming days, parenting feels like a relentless army of RED ANTS CRAWLING UNDER MY SKIN! Creating chaos in my mind, a storm of note!
This video, chaoticaly depicts what it feels like in my mind! Not for sensitive viewers.