I rushed off this morning and arrived at the office at 7:30 and submerged myself into work mode. Eleven hours later, at 6:30pm, while walking home, it hit me like a train in the gut! I never told my son that I’d be working late today!
How did this happen? I’m usually very good at this, ensuring my son is prepared for the change in routine.
You see, this is what happens when your balance is under threat, and your mind is working itself into a state of exhaustion when you juggle too many balls. I even wrote about it two weeks ago.
Unfortunately, as is often the case, we drop THE MOST IMPORTANT balls, the balls that don’t always bounce back.
“Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends, and integrity. And you’re keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls…are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.” James Patterson – one of my favourite authors.
Recently I’ve really risked dropping my family and my health ball. And for what? For the benefit of those who may never understand just how much of a sacrifice I’ve made? I’ve risked scuffing some balls for an area in my life where the ball will always bounce back!
Upon reflection, I now see that my family ball has been dropped a few times, but I’ve always managed to catch it before it shattered! These last two months I’ve gone for days where I’ve not had the time to sit with my son and ensure he receives the MUCH NEEDED one-on-one support. I’ve not been as committed as I should be, especially when considering his need for an adaptive kind of parenting.
My son should NOT be the last person on my priority list, he should always be first and foremost! My child’s needs and our well being should not be compromised for the benefit of making others’ lives easier…this is no longer a negotiable!
Tonight, was an eye-opener for me. How could I forget the most important responsibility and commitment that I will ever have in this lifetime?
The cracks are starting to show…Tonight I’m making a conscious decision to NOT allow anything to impact negatively on my family joys, my responsibilities and my commitments to my son. I am taking 10 steps back and accepting that I don’t have to be all things to all people…refer, refer, refer…
I don’t want to drop THIS ball. Again. Fortunately, my son had a good day so any major meltdowns were avoided. There was no need to polish my ball to hide the nicks. A big hug, an apology and an explanation and lots of love was all that was required.
Nothing in life is worth risking the balls that DON’T bounce back. Nothing.